Take the time to learn about consent

Did you know that only 28% of Canadians fully understand consent? Do you understand consent? If you’re even a little bit unsure, check out this video.
White Ribbon encourages guys to practise consent in all aspects of their relationships. Just because you identify as male doesn’t mean you should make the first move. Full stop.

What is an ally and how to be one? Here are some great reads:

Dear Men: So You Say You Want To Be An Ally…
How Guys Can Help Create A Culture of Respect in the era of #MeToo
Want to Be an Ally to Women at Work? Here are 5 things Men in Tech Have Been Doing
11 ways men productively respond to #MeToo

​Do some research on advocates seeking to prevent gender-based violence in your community. Continue their courageous work as often as possible.

Look within & asking hard questions

If you have done something you aren’t proud of or think you may have crossed a line, it’s time to acknowledge your mistakes and make amends. If you owe someone an apology, give it. Don’t expect a response or anything in return. Do some soul-searching and commit to not making the same mistakes again. Start to deal with some of the issues that led you to making those choices.

​If you know something, do something.

According to a recent White Ribbon study, 91% of guys said they would likely intervene if they knew someone in a violent relationship. Do you know someone who is emotionally or physically abusing their partner? If you do, we know you want to say something. But figuring out what to say and how to do it is tricky. Here’s a hint: Start with her. Ask how she’s doing and how you can support her. If she’s ready to create a safety plan, help with that. Now, about your talk with him: Be careful in your tone and be patient. Talking to him about his violent behaviour may cause him to become abusive. Avoid mirroring his negative reactions, because you don’t want him to become defensive. He will likely act in one of two ways:
He might be in denial: He might deny the whole thing and make up excuses by blaming her, and he might get angry about being called out.
He might ask for help: Your friend might tell you he’s ashamed of his abusive behaviour. Listen to him. Don’t judge him, but don’t excuse his behaviour either. Remind him that he’s in control of his behaviour and that he chooses his actions, and you can’t let them go unchecked.
If he is ready to change, ask him to visit our website (www.whiteribbon.ca) or call:
​

• TORONTO DISTRESS CENTRE: (416) 408-4357 or 408-HELP
• TORONTO RAPE CRISIS CENTRE: (416) 597-8808
• FAMILY SERVICES TORONTO (416) 595-9618

Yes, there’s support out there for him too.
If you need more support or additional information, check out How To Talk To Abusive Men on the Neighbour, Friends & Family website.

---

Take the pledge

Change is the result of small actions over time. We’re glad you want to help create a future without violence together with women and girls. Have you thought about why preventing gender-based violence is important to you? That’s your first step.

Share your reason and inspire the guys around you to take one small action today. The White Ribbon pledge is a good place to start. #MyPledge
Tweet us and share your pledge journey. How has your relationship with yourself and those around you changed?

---