Empathy, kindness and vulnerability are key to building healthy relationships with ourselves and others.
Let’s step out of the “manbox” together to build a better future for men and everyone around them.
What is “manbox”? Watch this original White Ribbon animated video to learn more:
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The manbox refers to all the attributes and characteristics that we usually put in the "box" of what it means to be a man in our society.
Some of these attributes tend to be: being stoic, strong, not crying, having control, being dominant, and not showing our emotions.
As men, society expects us to live inside of the manbox from childhood until the end of our lives.
However, the more closely men follow expectations from the manbox, the more likely they are to put their wellbeing and relationships at risk.
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As men, we are expected to be stoic, not show our emotions or reach out for help when we need it.
These expectations have drastic consequences on our mental health that can lead to or augment depression, anxiety, anger, self-harm and harming others.
The manbox also places an expectation on men to always be independent and self-sufficient, which consequently makes men less likely to visit doctors and therapists.
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As guys, we are expected to be always in control, dominant and more powerful than others.
While these characteristics might sound appealing to many, research shows that they can set men up for failure in their relationships and even cause harm to others.
For instance, when men’s friendships are based on values from the manbox, they tend to be characterized by competition, bullying, emotional disconnection and putting one another down.
More and more data is now proving that men’s loneliness crisis is deeply tied to the lack of vulnerability and true connection in men’s friendships.
This also applies to intimate and family, relationships.
Men who listen and learn from their partners, become emotionally aware and available, and build equitable dynamics are more to have successful relationships with others.
Emotionally engaged fathers and family members also tend to have healthier, stronger and more meaningful relationships with their kids and family members.
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Research has also proved a connection between several issues in our communities and the Manbox’s expectations of masculinity.
The more men define masculinity based on values from the Manbox the more likely they become to perpetrate sexual violence, bullying and harassment, promote unhealthy workplace values and use violence against others.
In addition, colonization, racism, homophobia, transphobia, ableism and other forms of systemic discrimination have often benefited from Manbox values that associate being a man with domination, control and power.
Defining your own path
Leaving narrow expectations on masculinity aside can be hard. Here are some steps you can follow as you step out of the manbox and redefine masculinity on your own terms.
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Masculinity shouldn’t be defined by narrow and outdated expectations.
When redefining masculinity, prioritize your well-being and leaving a positive impact in the world.
Choosing empathy, vulnerability, emotional awareness, strong communication skills and non-violence can significantly improve your life and relationships.
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Under the excuse of “Boys Being Boys” men engage in risky and problematic behaviour that can leave long-lasting negative repercussions.
Think about how you would like to be remembered by others and commit to leaving a legacy of respect, equity and positive memories.
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Our gender shouldn’t determine what brings meaning and joy to our lives.
Nonetheless, many of us put aside our goals and passions for fear of not being “manly” enough.
Connect with your true and most authentic self regardless of gender expectations.
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Many of us are afraid of stepping out of the manbox for fear of judgement and stigma.
Create safe spaces for others to leave rigid gender expectations aside free from judgement, discrimination or violence.
Building healthy relationships
Traditional expectations on masculinity don’t usually equip us with the skills to build respectful, happy and close relationships with others. Follow the next steps to nurture authentic and meaningful connections with others.
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Following expectations to be powerful and in control in our relationships can lead us to cause and experience pain.
In order to build better relationships, it is key to unlearn the attitudes and behaviours that will sabotage them.
Becoming better listeners, more empathetic, and sharing power can help us build better relationships.
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Society expects men to keep their emotions repressed.
As a result, many of us are disconnected from our emotions and never develop the skills to express our feelings in healthy ways.
Being vulnerable and communicating our emotions is not a sign of weakness but rather a key step in building healthy relationships.
Practice being vulnerable, connecting with your emotions and communicating them in ways that nurture stronger bonds with others.
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We all want to be surrounded by people who are respectful, kind and good listeners.
Work on building a version of yourself that uplifts, listens and supports others.
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Building healthy relationships is an ongoing process.
Friendships, family and intimate relationships are nuanced and go through different stages.
Not knowing how to navigate all situations is normal. Don’t be afraid to reach out to loved ones for advice and never stop doing online research on how to improve your relationships.
Are you an educator who wants to promote healthy masculinities among your students? Use our graphic novel posters and activities!
Level Up
Level Up is the story of a teenage boy whointervenes when his peers discuss engaging in online harassment.
Download the printable poster and put it up in your classroom to encourage conversations on allyship, men’s role in ending gender-based violence and online harassment.
Download the printable poster here*
Fill-in-the-blank printable posters are also available!
Print the poster, bring it to your students and ask them to complete the dialogue with their own approach to intervening in this situation and preventing online harassment.
Download the fill-in-the-blank poster here*
*The images will open on a new tab. Right-click the poster and select “save as…” to save and download the file.
Friend-ship
The Friend-Ship tells the story of a teenage boy who, as a result of unhealthy expectations on masculinity, is afraid of being vulnerable regarding his mental health. His friend persists in offering support and empathy, and together they learn that showing vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness but rather a human need.
Download the printable poster and put it up in your classroom to encourage conversations on vulnerability, resiliency, empathy and healthy masculinities.
Download the printable poster here*
Fill-in-the-blank printable posters are also available!
Print the poster, bring it to your students and ask them to complete the dialogue with their own approach to promoting vulnerability and offering support to someone who is struggling.
Download the fill-in-the-blanks Friend-Ship poster here*
*The images will open on a new tab. Right-click the poster and select “save as…” to save and download the file.
