It is great that you want to check in with your partner. One place you can start is with your communication.

Being able to say what you need and how they can support you, and learning how you can do the same for them, is important for building a happy and healthy relationship where both people feel safe and valued.

If you are having difficulty speaking to your partner or if you just want to check in, one way you can try is through non-violent communication. Non-violent communication is when you express what you see, how you feel and what you need from your partner without blaming, shaming or criticizing them.

There are 4 steps to non-violent communication:

1.

Tell them
​What you see

2.

tell them
​How you feel

3.

tell them
​What you need

4.

ask them
​to support you

To understand what your partner needs from you and to express what you need from them, tell them what you see and how it makes you feel. For instance, “I know the past couple of years have been really challenging in moving to Canada, and it has been really stressful on you, but it hurts me when we don’t talk about how we’re feeling about the changes. I would love for you to share how you’re doing and coping with the changes. Are there ways that I can support you?”

After you tell your partner what you see and how it makes you feel, the next step is to tell them what you need and ask them to consider your needs and how you feel.

To create equality in your relationship, each person should have a safe place to share and express their feelings without fear.

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