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How can I encourage my male friends, family members and neighbours to adopt healthy and positive masculinities and choose a path that does not include violence?

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It is important for men and boys to show each other support.

You can take the lead in your community by creating safe spaces, even virtually, where your neighbours, friends and families can let go of the “real man” expectation and performance and feel brave enough to share their feelings of sadness, fear, shame, kindness and joy.

Building a life in a new place is hard and it can be frustrating and overwhelming at times. That’s why it’s important to make sure these frustrations don’t show up in harmful or unhealthy ways.
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If you know someone who has committed a form of violence against their partner, let them know the impact of their choice does not stop with the person they harmed. Domestic violence affects everyone in the home, even after the incident is over.

One of the most important roles you have as an ally is to teach other men and boys how to express their masculinity in positive ways.
Be brave and encourage your neighbours, friends and family members to join you in promoting gender equality because gender equality is not just for women and girls. It also helps men and boys by creating space for them to be their full and best selves. So, you don’t have to hide behind the expectations of manhood and being a “real man.” You can just be you, all of you.

Here are 4 of the B.E.S.T. ways you can promote gender equality in your communities.

Believe
Believe that small changes can have a big impact. Create safe spaces where your male friends, brothers, uncles, cousins, neighbours, co-workers or classmates can get together and learn ways to teach each other how you can promote gender equality in your homes, schools, workplaces and communities.
Encourage
Encourage the men and boys in your communities to adopt healthy expressions of masculinity. Men and boys are taught from an early age that “real men” don’t have fears, they don’t get sad and they have to be strong, and that’s not true. Men and boys have many emotions, like joy, fear and kindness and it is okay for them to express all emotions.
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To promote positive and healthy expressions of masculinity, let go of these “real man” and “tough guy” expectations. Own all your emotions and encourage other men and boys to join you, because gender equality creates space for everyone to be their best selves.
Support
Support your neighbours, friends and family members because some may be going through struggles you do not know about, especially individuals from immigrant and refugee communities.

Building a life in a new place is challenging and emotional and it takes time to go through this transition. Your neighbours, friends or family members may be in need of some support.

Reach out to them and check in, see how they are doing and let them know you’re there if they need you and that there are places they can go if they need help with employment, a legal matter or counselling or if there has been an instance of domestic violence. There is no shame in needing assistance, so show men in your community where they can get support.
Teach
Teach your neighbours, friends and family how to speak up and support other men and boys in their communities who may be in distress or who may be choosing to use violence against their partner.
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Encourage them to own their behaviour and change, starting with a Pledge to never support, commit or condone violence.
Take the pledge

Download and share the 4 b.e.s.t. steps toward allyship.

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  • Home
  • About
    • Meet the Team
    • Meet Our Board
    • Values
    • Blog
    • Contact us
  • What We Do
    • Campaigns >
      • Boys Don’t Cry
    • Partnerships >
      • Projects
    • Technical Assistance
    • Learn With Us
    • Publications
  • Engage
    • Take The Pledge
    • Consent Quiz
    • How to be an ally
    • Events
  • Men of Quality
  • Donate
  • Walk a Mile
  • Workshops
  • Order Materials
  • Work With Us!
  • Francais