​Remembering the 1989 Montreal Massacre
by Louise Moyer
Senior Program Manager, White Ribbon






December 6th is Canada’s highly significant commemorative day - the National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women.  Over 30 years ago, 14 women were murdered at École Polytechnique in Montreal on December 6, 1989, by a man, in a violent act of misogyny and hatred.

It’s a painful time in our history/herstory; 14 women, future engineers, lost their lives because of horrible social norms, attitudes and behaviours that reinforced inaccurate ideas that men were more worthy than women. And since this time thousands and thousands of other women, girls and non-binary folks have experienced gender-based violence, and many more have lost their lives.

The year before this hate crime, I was at Queen's University completing my Masters degree, where I lived in a co-ed dorm on campus. Many nights, on my way back to my room after being at labs or study groups, I would come across posters and graffiti scattered across campus with messages saying "NO means YES".  Rumors had it that these were authored by male engineering students. At that time, the campus administration did nothing.  

It was traumatizing to be subjected to those signs, and the clear messages that were being conveyed. Women’s consent to sex was seen as irrelevant to the engineering students, but also to the broader campus community. I was a sexual assault survivor - it happened to me in my first year at York University. When I saw those signs, the words of the offender kept ringing in my ears - “well you know you wanted it, women always say no”.  But I didn’t.  And I also didn’t want the physical violence that came with my resistance.  

Then a year later I was working at my first job when the Montreal massacre happened. I remember reading that the Queen's engineering students had plastered those offensive signs AGAIN. The early dialogue at the office was dismissive of the feminist analysis of the Massacre and my perspective. ‘Of course, women weren’t targeted.’

More retraumatization. The men’s voices in the office got to say “the truth.”  But soon the real truth came out - women and feminism had been targeted. But in the meantime I had been left silenced, retraumatized and reliving my pain and feeling the pain of my ‘sisters.’  

A few years later, I and some other women in York region came together to establish our local Sexual Assault Centre - to empower women’s voices, support their healing journeys, and advocate for social change.

Today, Ontario post-secondary institutions have put in place policies and protocols to help address sexual violence on campus; supports for survivors; training for staff and students, and wide-scale public education initiatives. We can thank the feminist movement for this and the male allies that speak up and support gender equality. But so many years later, after those early experiences, some students still hang deeply misogynistic posters at college and university campuses across Canada. And today, acts of mass misogynistic hatred still happen - the 2018 Toronto Van Attack, this year’s Nova Scotia mass shooting, and so many everyday acts of violence and femicide in Canada and around the world. We must never forget December 6, 1989.

But there is hope, and I find some solace in knowing that change is happening. This year for December 6th, Queen’s University has honoured Brielle Thorsen​, an Indigenous student pursuing her Masters in Mechanical Engineering. She is the recipient of a prestigious $30,000 scholarship, commemorating Canada's National Day of Remembrance and Action on Violence against Women and the loss of the women’s lives.  

There are things that we can do to create further change: listen, believe and support survivors; recognize that acts of gender-based violence are part of a broader patriarchal system of gender-based discrimination and oppression; continue to advocate for systemic change in our education and political institutions; help raise and educate new generations of gender-equitable boys and young men that grow up to understand the importance of consent, and to become kind, respectful, and strong allies to create a gender just, and peaceful world. And so much more needs to be done.
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We remember, and we commit to action.
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Cal Rolle is the Manager, Training & Development, and Chair of the People & Culture Diversity & Inclusion Committee at Sunwing Travel Group. He's also part of Team Sunwing for Walk A Mile In Her Shoes 2020. 

September 15, 2020 (Toronto, Canada ) – White Ribbon’s 11th annual awareness-raising event, Walk A Mile in Her Shoes, is going virtual! Step out with your favourite pair of heels (or any other shoes!) that symbolize your
commitment to end violence against women, girls, and people of all genders, and walk with hundreds of others
in Toronto between September 26th to October 2nd , 2020. Participants can walk anytime during that week and share their experience on social media using #WhiteRibbonWalk, thus showing their support in ending
gender-based violence, racism, and all forms of discrimination.

Over the past few months, the worldwide COVID- 19 pandemic heightened the magnitude of inequality women continually face from increased rates of domestic abuse, to sexual violence and harassment within and outside the home. Meanwhile, the Black Lives Matter movement revealed the urgency to speak out against racism, sexism and all intersectional forms of discrimination. Overall, 2020 is a year that alerted us to the necessity of overdue change.

With this year’s walk taking place virtually over one week, participants will be able to take stride and complete
their mile anywhere they choose! White Ribbon’s goal is to attract more than 500 participants to walk in
solidarity with women, girls and all genders, while raising awareness and funds to end violence, promote
equality, healthy relationships and a new vision of masculinity. It's a momentous occasion for men and people
of all genders to make a statement that violence against women and girls, racism, and discrimination is not only
a women's issue - it's everyone's issue, and it will only be solved by everyone working together.

Participants can register online at www.walkamiletoronto.ca and will be invited to celebrate virtually on
October 2 nd to acknowledge all of the teams, participants, and sponsors. Bring your friends, colleagues, and
family members and walk your neighbourhoods or workspaces to support this incredible cause to fight for
racial equality and social justice! You’ll be able to show your allyship online via White Ribbon’s Twitter
(@whiteribbon), Instagram (@whiteribboncanada), Facebook (@whiteribboncampaign), and LinkedIn
(linkedin.com/company/whiteribbon) using the hashtag #WhiteRibbonWalk.

White Ribbon’s work would not be possible without the support and generosity of its sponsors:
Stiletto Sponsor: McCarthy Tetrault
Wedge Sponsor: Brill Communications, Barrick Gold
Kitten Sponsors: Achieve Blue, Alterna Savings, Captivate,
Corman Feiner, Hydro One, James In The City, Rebecca Social
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About White Ribbon
This year marks White Ribbon’s 11th annual Walk a Mile in Her Shoes awareness and fundraising event. White Ribbon was founded in Toronto Canada in 1991, in response to Montreal’s École Polytechnique massacre in December 1989. In the aftermath of the tragedy, a group of men came together to advocate that men had both a role and responsibility in working to eliminate violence against women.

Today, White Ribbon Campaign initiatives have been organized in over 60 countries around the world making
this the world’s largest movement of men and boys working to end violence against women and girls while
promoting gender equality. Among its many calls to broader individual and systemic action and change, White
Ribbon has asked men to wear white ribbons as a pledge to never commit, condone or remain silent about
gender-based violence. Funds raised will help deliver awareness and educational programs such as the
award-winning Boys Don’t Cry and Men of Quality initiative.

Reaching men and boys in workplaces, schools, colleges, universities, sports teams and community groups across the country.

For more information, please contact Brill Communications Desia Halpin-Brill | [email protected]

​I have had the pleasure to work with White Ribbon over the last two years and I am so honoured to be the Board Chair. And as the universe always does, this cause has made me see this cause through a new lens.

A while back a dear friend and I were having a heart to heart about great relationships (she has not had much luck in this area of her life), and she opened up about her past and how her relationship with her father has affected her ability to build healthy relationships with the men who have been in her life.

I was shocked, and without thinking, I shared with her that I had always believed that she grew up in a home with loving parents and privileges that most people do not have. I also believed that her father was like “Ward Cleaver” – the perfect father on “Leave It To Beaver” which was a show in the 1950s (I guess I just aged myself).

She quickly responded by telling me that I could not have been more off the mark. Her childhood and adolescence was living with an abusive father – who repeatedly abused their mother, my friend, and her siblings. I was sad, angry, and shocked to hear her finally share her life growing up. I have known her for 27 years; how did I know this? Because like many victims of abuse we just do not talk about it. They are ashamed – which breaks my heart.

I am proud to walk in this year's Walk A Mile In Her Shoes, so that I can continue to make a difference in the lives of women and girls who have had the same experience as my very dear friend. I Walk because we need a “future that has no violence against women and girls”.

Together we need to support this cause through the education, awareness-raising, outreach, capacity building, and partnerships that White Ribbon provides. We have to challenge the negative, outdated concepts of manhood and inspire men to understand and embrace the incredible potential they have to be a part of positive change.

This year I am walking with my friends to make a difference. I am walking for my dear friend who had the courage to share her story, and for those that have not shared their experiences.

-Mona Mitchell, Chair of White Ribbon's Board of Directors

Intersectional solidarity approaches have guided social justice and human rights movements for decades, helping to raise awareness about different experiences of disenfranchised and vulnerable communities. Experiences of disadvantage and stigma are based on many interlocking factors including but not limited to: gender, race, class, sexuality, age, ethnicity, ability, etc. Unfortunately, we still have a long way to go in achieving full equity and equality. 

The recent systemic racism cases that we have seen against the black community, in particular the tragic incidents of George Floyd in the USA and Regis Korchinski-Paquet in Toronto, are truly alarming. The rally against black racism that happened in Toronto on May 30th demanding justice for Regis, speaks to the frustration of the community and the need for justice and a structural change at the highest levels. 

There is also an urgent need for intersectional solidarity of all community stakeholders to amplify efforts in raising awareness about the challenges, and the silence experienced by vulnerable communities; whose needs and realities have been shadowed and rendered invisible.

White Ribbon believes that community awareness and sensitivity to our intersectional realities is a collective responsibility. It is crucial to stress the need and the importance of male allyship at a personal, community, and systemic level; especially in empowering and providing support sensitive to the realities of our communities. 

All of us across social, cultural, gender and sexual identities, abilities, and economic locations need to be engaged to interrogate our privilege, learn about it, name it, and engage in dialogue with those who deny it by referring to the history of colonization and racism in Canada, and its ongoing impacts.

Anti-black violence and racist attitudes have detrimental impacts on broader communities of colour as a product of colonization, imperialism, and the lack of representation of those who do not fit white normative standards.

It is crucial to reiterate the importance of a life-long commitment to unlearning racism and other forms of oppression. Allyship is not a checklist, but rather a never-ending personal journey to end discrimination and violence. 

Having brave conversations about white privilege, colonialism, and racism with our friends and family members is important. It is never too late to start unpacking these issues and how they function within broader institutions, including our justice and law-enforcement systems, and de-legitimize the human rights and opportunities of marginalized communities. 

To prevent violence and harm in our communities, we need to encourage more men and boys to represent our wide and rich diversity and embrace their role as allies. 

We call on allies in our community to speak up against racism, misogyny, homophobia, and all forms of discrimination, at all times, but especially when they believe someone needs support. We encourage allies to share words of support with those experiencing hard times and provide space to address harmful behaviours and share positive alternatives. 

We urge allies to check in with their neighbours, friends, and family members, including survivors of violence and discrimination in their lives, to ensure they have the support that they need. 

Male allyship needs to be encouraged at all layers of the society, from systemic to community levels; as it takes all of us to end the structural anti-black violence that we continue to witness every day. 

We offer these four steps to help you demonstrate allyship in our everday life:

BELIEVE: Listen to and believe black voices speaking out against racism, discrimination, violence and oppression. 

ENCOURAGE: Men and boys around you to take actions of solidarity and work with people in the community to raise awareness about the challenges of marginalized people including but not limited to racism, systemic discrimination, and anti-black violence. 

SUPPORT:  Check in on your neighbours, friends, and family members in need of support and refer them to available services in the community. You can also offer support by donating to anti-black violence prevention organizations and use your platform to amplify their voices.

TEACH other men and boys around you to be allies. Encourage allies and role models in your community to discuss allyship and solidarity with friends, family members, partners, and neighbours.

We offer the following additional resources to help you learn more about the role you can play in ending anti-black violence and racism.

ANTI-RACISM EDUCATION
Book: The Skin We’re In. Desmond Cole (2020)Book: White Fragility: Why It's So Hard for White People to Talk About Racism. Robin DiAngelo (2018) 
5 Initial Ways you can be a better ally to people of colour
Desmond Cole: 'Canada insists on being surprised by its own racism'
Anti-racism resource collection. Resource Sharing Project
Lupita Nyong'o: Colourism is the daughter of racism

DONATIONS
Justice for Regis
Black Lives Matter Toronto
A Fund for Black-led Mental Health Supports

MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORTS FOR BLACK COMMUNITIES
https://www.bonappetit.com/story/virtual-mental-health-resources

Toronto, April 26, 2020
 
We at White Ribbon are heartbroken at the tragic incident in Nova Scotia last weekend.  This horrible act together with the loss of 22 people has brought much pain and suffering to the victim’s families, friends, and colleagues, to the local communities, to the RCMP family, and to all Canadians. We stand in solidarity with everyone impacted by this tragedy and we join in our collective grief and mourning. 
 
While we await further information from the investigative process, we must not lose sight that the gunman began his killing spree with acts of violence against his girlfriend, and may have targeted and killed his ex and her partner. As has been the case in similar past incidents in Canada and the USA, men’s use of extreme violence is often fueled by gender-based violence including domestic violence, deep misogyny, and hatred including racism, xenophobia and homophobia. 
 
White Ribbon supports the call from Women’s Shelters Canada for confirmation that the gunman targeted his current and former partners and any history of domestic violence.  Furthermore, we call on all of us, in particular on all men and boys to speak out against this heinous act of violence, and against everyday misogyny, gender-based violence, and all forms of discrimination. Men and boys can play an important role by never committing, condoning or remaining silent about all forms of gender-based violence, in our homes, schools, workplaces, and communities.   
 
As we remember the 30th anniversary of the Polytechnique massacre, the second anniversary of the Toronto van attack, and the countless other acts of violence committed by men, it’s more important than ever to consider the gender dimensions of these horrific actions. Preventing future incidents of violence like these requires us to address the roots of this hatred. In addition, we are deeply concerned about the increase in domestic violence, violence against front-line workers, racial and sexual harassment (online and offline), abuse and exploitation of vulnerable women workers, and sexual exploitation and violence against children and youth as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic.  
 
In this time of crisis (and every day), men must: recognize the impact of their harmful behaviours on others and commit to change; reach out for help when needed; embrace their role as role models and allies in promoting gender equality and supporting survivors; speak out, and commit to ending gender-based violence. We must strengthen our collective resolve to work together with government, researchers, law enforcement, and community organizations to promote gender equality and to identify and prevent the root causes of men’s  violence.
 
White Ribbon’s gender-based violence primary prevention with men and boys is a key part of the solution, to ensure men’s use of everyday violence and tragedies like these never happen again.  For more information about our work, visit www.whiteribbon.ca. 
 
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For media enquiries, contact Humberto Carolo, Executive Director, White Ribbon, [email protected].

WHITE RIBBON RESOURCES

White Ribbon has many educational and awareness resources to help you, your family, students, co-workers, and community members.  Use any of the resources below or reach out to us at [email protected] for more information.  If you would like to book a virtual educational session with your students, youth in the community, or staff, please visit our workshops page for more details.  

Steps you can take to help end gender-based violence and promote gender equality:

1. Sign the White Ribbon Pledge to never commit, condone, or remain silent about gender-based violence, and subscribe to our mailing list to receive our newsletter and regular updates.  

2. Check out our Boys Don't Cry Campaign to learn about the impact of harmful stereotypes and gender norms, and the links to toxic masculinity and gender-based violence.  Our 10 tips for promoting healthy masculinity will help you raise gender equitable, emotionally literate boys.  

3. Visit our Men of Quality Campaign, a partnership with the Toronto Maple Leafs, and get some inspiration on allyship and what men can do to help end gender-based violence.

4. Visit White Ribbon's Draw the Line Campaign for information and tools to end all forms of sexual violence.

5. Become a White Ribbon Neighbours, Friends, and Families Immigrant and Refugee Community Ally and learn about domestic violence, its roots causes, and how to prevent violence against women and children in our community.

6. Visit our It Starts With You Campaign to learn more about being a good role model and the steps you can take to promote gender equality, healthy masculinities and end gender-based violence.

7. If you are experiencing gender-based violence, you are not alone. You are loved and supported. Reach out for help and visit Shelter Safe Canada or the Canadian Association of Sexual Assault Centres for assistance near you. If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.  

8. If you are concerned about your mental health, or behaviour, or you have used or are using violence (verbal, physical, sexual, psychological, financial), it’s important that you seek immediate help. Your well-being and the safety of those around you is paramount.  Pause, reflect, make amends, and reach out to supports near you.  You deserve help, and you owe it to yourself, your family and friends.

9. For COVID-19 related information including health related questions, financial help, support programs, and community resources, please visit the dedicated Government of Canada information portal.  

Become a Founding Member of Strengthening Ties

With Women’s Shelters Canada’s innovative new initiative, Strengthening Ties, men across the country have a concrete way to help end violence against women. Until now, private donations to support Canada’s violence against women (VAW) shelter system have largely come from women. Strengthening Ties gives men the opportunity to change that through a financial pledge, providing both connection and critical funding to end violence against women.

Founding donors pledge $1,000 a year for three years (or in monthly installments). The short-term vision for this circle of male allies is to address the gender balance of supporters for VAW shelters and transition houses in this country. The long-term vision involves a much loftier goal: to end the need for VAW shelters in Canada, period.

​Learn more about the work these donations support and how to join this initiative here.

Tell us a bit about yourself:
I’m Todd Karges and I’ve been participating in Walk A Mile since 2012.  I’d been supporting friends walking for a few years prior to that and decided I wanted to be more involved.  This year I started working out at Motus Training Studio, a gym whose mission and values include inclusivity and diversity.  When I told my friends there about the walk, they were immediately interested in joining. That’s how Marco, Jamie, Ryan and I became the Swole Sisters.  We’re excited to be able to make a difference.

Why is gender-based violence and violence against women an important issue for you to take action on?
Gender-based violence isn’t a women’s issue, it’s a human issue.  The work that White Ribbon does to undo a twisted power imbalance that leads to violence against women is essential.  We all know women who have been victimized, and that’s a great reason to participate. We also recognize that when this kind of crap stops, everybody will benefit and we’ll live in a better place.

Why is Walk a Mile in Her Shoes important to you and how did you first get involved?
I’ve been involved for almost a decade, and the rest of the Swole Sisters are enthusiastic newcomers to the cause.  We all know that education and outreach are the most effective ways to change people, and that it’s a long process. The work that White Ribbon does is so important and we all knew we had to help however we could.

Tell us about your team and how how you got them to participate in the walk this year:
The Swole Sisters came together naturally, and it literally took no convincing.  When my friends from Motus heard what the event was about, they immediately wanted to participate.  White Ribbon’s mission aligns so perfectly with what we strive to bring to our gym experience. We all recognize our role in opening up cultures and changing people’s perspectives.   I’d say the Swole Sisters already existed. We just needed a place to put this energy.

What are you looking forward to most about this year’s walk?
Every year, I approach the walk with a bit of apprehension.  The shoes are not comfortable and a mile is a long way to go in them.  And every year, I am lifted by the energy and enthusiasm of the event: participants, spectators, everybody.  Mostly I’m looking forward to helping White Ribbon achieve their fundraising goal.
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Todd Karges is participating in White Ribbon’s Walk a Mile in Her Shoes, presented by DSW Canada, The Shoe Company and Shoe Warehouse, taking place on Wednesday May 29, 2019 at 11:45am, David Pecaut Square, 215 King Street West, in Toronto. Donate to The Swole Sisters at: whiteribbon.akaraisin.com/wamihs2019/theswolesisters
​Visit www.walkamiletoronto.ca to register, participate, and or donate.  Thank you for your support of White Ribbon’s work to engage men and boys in promoting healthy masculinities and ending gender-based violence.  

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