walk a mile in her shoes ®

Gender Based Violence is Not Just a Women's Issue

"Gender based violence does not just affect women. It affects the men who care about them, their families, their friends, their coworkers, and their communities."

Violence toward women and girls is an epidemic... 51% of Canadian women over the age of 16 have experienced at least one form of gender-based violence. That means someone you know, somebody you care about, has been or may become a victim of violence. It could be your mother, your sister, your friend, your girlfriend, your wife, your coworker, or your daughter.

Some of the considerations and observations we made coming to the decision to host this event:

• We need to fundraise to survive and to do our work as we have no core funding at the White Ribbon Campaign. We could do a generic gala event, or one that also raises awareness of the issue, and aligns with our belief that this change has to be personal for men, that this change is a process, and the “catalysts” like Walk a Mile in Her Shoes®, or the White Ribbon, can be the starting point for thought, dialogue and critical reflection for the many men who might not otherwise think about the issue of men's violence against women. In addition, we know that many men are influenced strongly by what they think other men think of them. Large public display of men walking to end men's violence against women and help shift the social norm or the perception that men don't care about this issue, that men don’t have a role and responsibility to play.
• We know that traditional methods of engagement and awareness-raising have not always been successful, especially in engaging men.
• Raising awareness of the issue of men’s violence against women at the Walk A Mile in Her Shoes® event needs to strike a balance between fun and “not serious” and the very serious nature of the issue. We are attempting to find that balance in all our media materials, and in every opportunity to talk about the event. The event should be ‘fun” but not “funny”. We will also provide that balance at the actual event itself with information, stats, a strong community based feminist women’s group presence, and ways for men to further their engagement on the issue following the event.
• As much as there is a real concern around the re-enforcing gender stereotypes by men wearing women’s shoes, there is also an alternative view around breaking rigid gender norms for men. We know that gender-based violence is deeply rooted in the way we construct our masculinities. Violence against women is rooted in strict gender norms associated with men’s power and control. That strict masculinity is often enforced through homophobia and other forms of “policing” men’s gender roles. By collectively wearing women’s shoes, and making such a public statement about men’s role in ending violence against women, we are helping to deconstruct some of those strict gender roles and expectations that are unfairly placed on men.
• Provide clarity that the experience of walk one mile in women’s shoes does not in any way equate to suddenly gaining a full understanding of women’s lives and experiences. It can offer a brief glimpse for men, and a way to open our eyes to a critical reflection on gender that most men never have to contemplate in their lives (except perhaps how to make their gender work for them, or how to avoid being policed by other men for stepping outside of “traditional” men’s gender roles).

We invested a lot of thought and consultation on this issue prior to embarking on this event. We wanted to understand concerns, and hear what our partners and colleagues in the Canadian feminist women’s movement also thought about these events. So first, here is a bit of process.

Interestingly in Canada, prior to our upcoming event, Walk a Mile in Her Shoes® event here were (to our knowledge) exclusively held by feminist women’s organizations. Women’s sexual assault crisis centres, shelters and transition houses, and the YWCA in Calgary were among the organizers of these events across Canada. We spoke with several organizations that held these events, the feeling was that the benefits outweighed the concerns, and virtually all of these groups are planning to make it an annual event.

We also wanted to speak with some feminist women’s organizations who were not involved with a Walk a Mile in Her Shoes® event, and we spoke with several, including a national women’s foundation, a local women’s shelter, our local YWCA, and a women’s violence prevention council in Toronto. While there was diversity of opinions on the politics of the event, some groups were quite supportive, and others were neutral. There was consensus recognition that a) we need to try to get more uninvolved men engaged on the issue of men’s violence against women, and b) there were limited events/actions/activities that had been successful on a large a scale so far.

Put Yourself in Her Shoes™

Each year, an ever-increasing number of men, women and their families are joining Walk A Mile in Her Shoes® to end violence against women and girls. Walk A Mile in Her Shoes® is a fun opportunity for men to educate the community about a very serious subject and to rally the community to take action to prevent gender based violence.

First You Walk the Walk:

Walk a Mile is Her Shoes® asks men (and women) to literally walk one mile in women’s high-heeled shoes. It’s not easy walking in these shoes, but it’s fun and it gets the community talking about something that’s really difficult to talk about: violence toward women and girls.

Then You Talk the Talk:

It’s critical to open up communication about sexual violence. When hidden away, it’s almost impossible to stop. Unfortunately, it’s difficult to get people talking. People unfamiliar with it often don’t want to know it exists. It’s ugly. People who have experienced it themselves want to forget about it. How do you get them talking now, so that they can prevent if from happening? And after it’s happened, how do you get them to talk about it so they can recover?

Walk A Mile in Her Shoes® provides several opportunities to get people talking. For preventive education, it helps men better understand and appreciate women’s experiences, thus changing perspectives, helping improve gender relationships and decreasing the potential for violence. For healing, it informs the community that services are available for recovery. It demonstrates that men are willing and able to be courageous partners with women in making the world a safer place.